Post by k3rry on Jun 20, 2007 18:52:35 GMT 1
NEW YORK - A public school teacher was arrested today at John
F.Kennedy International Airport as he attempted to board a flight
while in possession of a ruler, a protractor, a set square, a slide
rule, and a calculator.
At a morning press conference, Attorney General Alberto Gonzalez said
he believes the man is a member of the notorious Al-gebra movement.
He did not identify the man, who has been charged by the FBI with
carrying weapons of math instruction.
"Al-gebra is a problem for us," Gonzalez said. "They desire solutions
by means and extremes, and sometimes go off on tangents in a search
of absolute value. They use secret code names like 'x' and 'y' and
refer to themselves as 'unknowns,' but we have determined they belong
to a common denominator of the axis of medieval with coordinates in
every country. As the Greek philanderer Isosceles used to say, 'There
are 3 sides to every triangle.'
'When asked to comment on the arrest, President Bush said, "If God
had wanted us to have better Weapons of Math Instruction, He would
have given us more fingers and toes." White House aides told
reporters they could not recall a more intelligent or profound
statement by the President during his entire administration
F.Kennedy International Airport as he attempted to board a flight
while in possession of a ruler, a protractor, a set square, a slide
rule, and a calculator.
At a morning press conference, Attorney General Alberto Gonzalez said
he believes the man is a member of the notorious Al-gebra movement.
He did not identify the man, who has been charged by the FBI with
carrying weapons of math instruction.
"Al-gebra is a problem for us," Gonzalez said. "They desire solutions
by means and extremes, and sometimes go off on tangents in a search
of absolute value. They use secret code names like 'x' and 'y' and
refer to themselves as 'unknowns,' but we have determined they belong
to a common denominator of the axis of medieval with coordinates in
every country. As the Greek philanderer Isosceles used to say, 'There
are 3 sides to every triangle.'
'When asked to comment on the arrest, President Bush said, "If God
had wanted us to have better Weapons of Math Instruction, He would
have given us more fingers and toes." White House aides told
reporters they could not recall a more intelligent or profound
statement by the President during his entire administration
