Post by irishstick on Jan 22, 2009 0:47:17 GMT 1
these are genuine notes written (often in haste) on patient report forms from the East of england ambulance service. a friend of mine is a paramedic at the local station and he gave me these when i poped over for a cuppa this evening
1. She has no rigors or shaking chills, but her husband states she was very hot in bed last night.
2. Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year.
3. On the second day the knee was better, and on the third day it disappeared.
4. The patient is tearful and crying constantly. She also appears to be depressed.
5. The patient has been depressed since she began calling an ambulance in 1993.
6. Patient called an ambulance in 19:45 and it arrived in 19:56.
7. Healthy appearing decrepit 69 year old male, mentally alert but forgetful.
8. The patient refused nothing being done.
9. The patient has no previous history of successful suicides.
10. Patient has white blood cells .
11. Patient's medical history remarkably insignificant with only a 40 pound weight gain in past 3 days.
12. Patient had Cornflakes for breakfast and an ECP for lunch.
13. She is numb from her toes down.
14. Last time she was in A&E, she was examined, x-rated and sent home.
15. The skin was moist and dry.
16. Occasional, constant infrequent headaches.
17. Patient was alert and unresponsive.
18. Patient has an enlarged left nose
19. She stated that she had been constipated for most of her life, until she got a divorce.
20. Patient is under hospital car for physical therapy.
21. Both breasts are equal and reactive to light and accommodation.
22. Examination of genitalia reveals that he is circus sized.
23. Patient say he has abnormal lover function.
24. The patient was due to have a bowel operation. However, he took a job as a stock broker instead.
25. Skin: somewhat pale but present.
26. The pelvic exam was done later on the floor.
27. Patient was seen by Dr. Blank, who felt we should sit on the abdomen and I agree.
28. Large brown stool ambulating in the hall.
30. Patient has two teenage children, but no other abnormalities.
1. She has no rigors or shaking chills, but her husband states she was very hot in bed last night.
2. Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year.
3. On the second day the knee was better, and on the third day it disappeared.
4. The patient is tearful and crying constantly. She also appears to be depressed.
5. The patient has been depressed since she began calling an ambulance in 1993.
6. Patient called an ambulance in 19:45 and it arrived in 19:56.
7. Healthy appearing decrepit 69 year old male, mentally alert but forgetful.
8. The patient refused nothing being done.
9. The patient has no previous history of successful suicides.
10. Patient has white blood cells .
11. Patient's medical history remarkably insignificant with only a 40 pound weight gain in past 3 days.
12. Patient had Cornflakes for breakfast and an ECP for lunch.
13. She is numb from her toes down.
14. Last time she was in A&E, she was examined, x-rated and sent home.
15. The skin was moist and dry.
16. Occasional, constant infrequent headaches.
17. Patient was alert and unresponsive.
18. Patient has an enlarged left nose
19. She stated that she had been constipated for most of her life, until she got a divorce.
20. Patient is under hospital car for physical therapy.
21. Both breasts are equal and reactive to light and accommodation.
22. Examination of genitalia reveals that he is circus sized.
23. Patient say he has abnormal lover function.
24. The patient was due to have a bowel operation. However, he took a job as a stock broker instead.
25. Skin: somewhat pale but present.
26. The pelvic exam was done later on the floor.
27. Patient was seen by Dr. Blank, who felt we should sit on the abdomen and I agree.
28. Large brown stool ambulating in the hall.
30. Patient has two teenage children, but no other abnormalities.
